'Secret Diary of a Street Girl'
by 'Bête de Nuit'
You may seen on ITV2 last night 'Secret Diary of a Call Girl' starring Billie Piper as a high-class escort. This programme showed prostitution at its least offensive and problematic. Many people will have a problem with this kind of programme as they think it might glamourize prostitution, and not show its darker side.
The object of this blog is to show this darker side.
I am a middle-aged man living in South London in a council block of flats. Before I moved into my present home about seven years ago I had no contact with street girls or drug addicts or homeless people. Now I have got to know some of them and they are different from what I expected. If you would like to learn what I have found out, then read on.
I will not give the names of the girls but use their initial.
First of all I would like to tell you about a girl called D. The first time I met D. I was in my flat one Sunday morning and I got a knock on the door. I opened the door and saw a short scruffy girl. She said "Do you want business?". I wasn't entirely sure what she meant, but I knew that I didn't want it. She said "Go on, I'll give you a really good blowjob for twenty quid". I said no again and she said "All right, ten quid then". I said no again.
She asked me to let her out of the building because she was in the communal garden area and had to get through a security door to get back out onto the street. My intercom wasn't working so I had to get my keys and go with her to the door. I asked her why she was doing this and she said she needed the train fare to get back to Margate. I was standing at the door and she said she would do it for three quid. I stood at that door a while before I made the decision that I could say changed my life.
Over the next few months I had D. in my flat numerous times. I would give her ten pounds and she would give me a blowjob without a condom. Once we were naked and she tried to put my cock in her pussy without a condom. I stopped her and told her I did not want that.
I pieced together bits of information that helped me understand what she was up to. She used to be with her drug dealer outside my block of flats but not have the money to pay him and he was unwilling to give her more till she cleared her debt. She would then knock on the doors of every flat in my block of flats offering herself to any man. She would give them blowjobs for a tenner or maybe less and she wouldn't care if they had washed recently. She would climb over security gates to get to the flats.
D. would knock on my window in the early hours of the morning anytime she needed crack. I had to stop her coming to my flat after a while. First of all because I didn't actually fancy her, although she does look a bit like Kate Moss. Secondly, I wasn't happy about the drug dealer/pimp/boyfriend waiting outside my flat (these 3 groups of men blur into one on the streets). I can't imagine the amount of money that has gone through this small girls hands over the years. It must be tens of thousands of pounds.
She wouldn't accept my decision. She would knock on my door and try to force her way in. I had tried saying to her that she could come in just for a cup of tea and nothing else but she would try and get my cock out and start sucking it. I had to pick her up and carry her out of the door.
I did say to her once "Do you know any other girls who do what you do?". She said she had a friend called M. She said "She's very young, but she knows what to do". I asked her to get M. to come to my flat but she never did.
Eventually D. got the message. One time when she asked me why I didn't want to have sex with her I said "I don't take advantage of vulnerable young women any more". Another time she got into my flat and said there was a man after her, threatening her. I didn't believe her and thought it just a ruse to stay in my flat. She was muttering "It's all my own fault, it's all my own fault". I picked her up and carried her out. I did feel guilty when I looked out of my window and saw her running across the street and banging on the door of a B&B on the other side of the road.
Some time after she stopped coming to my flat she came up to me in the street. She asked me for a couple of quid. I said I wasn't going to give her any money but that I was just going to a café and I would buy her a cup of tea. When we got there I asked her if she wanted anything to eat. She told me a bit about her life. She has a son, who lives with her mother.
She had already told me that she had suffered from post natal depression. Someone gave her LSD and that was where her problems really started. She has never recovered her mental health since that time.
She had lived in my block of flats years before. I asked another resident about her. He said she was evil. She had set fire to her flat, and she had also flooded the flat below. Even a drug dealer in my block of flats did not allow her in his flat because 'she is not a nice person'.
I used to see her sometimes outside the council offices trying to get somewhere to sleep for the night. One day I saw her and I hardly recognized her. She said she was off drugs and I could instantly see that it was true. I found her beautiful, for the first time. She said that she was very depressed. What touched me was that when I told her that I was working in a personnel department she asked if I knew if there were any cleaning jobs she could do. I asked her about her son, and she seemed to appreciate my interest.
But it didn't last. As far as I know she's back on it.
I could tell you about another couple of prostitutes/addicts/homeless girls associated with my block of flats. I could tell you about T. who was taken in by a sympathetic resident but then she took over his flat, telling him it was her flat now and not letting him back in. I used to watch her out of my kitchen window. She would lie on the grass in the communal garden area playing loud music. Once, when she turned over I could see she had no knickers on. I never dared go with her even though she was attractive because I was scared of the violent men in her life. We had to evict her in the end, but she came back the next day and got an addict resident to kick the door in for her. So they had to evict her a second time. They put up metal shutters on the windows to stop her getting back in. There was a rumour she had been taken into a psychiatric institution where she had a baby.
Or I could tell you about a girl whose name I never found out. I used to watch her outside my bedroom window on the street with her boyfriend. They would wait to be let in to the drug dealer's flat. He didn't want to let too many addicts in at one time. I watched over the weeks as her appearance changed. She had been a very pretty girl.
They get thinner and thinner, often skeletal. Sometimes for a short time they actually get more beautiful and take on an etherial beauty. But what always shocks me is that their faces eventually take on a demonic appearance. Sometimes I see her in the street usually with her boyfriend.
But this blog is about the darkest side of prostitution, so I think it is time for me to tell you about K., a girl I met on Tooting Bec Common, the girl who had the most impact on me. But that will have to wait for the next posting to this blog.